The idea that 'the self is not lost in a single blow, but thinned by accumulation' is one of the most profound things I've read on this platform. It perfectly captures why protecting our inner atmosphere is an act of survival, not just a luxury.
I’ve spent my life learning to distinguish between external noise and what is quietly true, especially when the stakes were at their highest. Your writing is a vital shield against the 'contagion' of modern life. I’ve just subbed to your journey and am looking forward to more of this depth.
I’m especially glad that line resonated. So much of what matters inwardly is not destroyed dramatically, but worn thin quietly, which is part of why it can go unnoticed for so long.
And yes — learning to distinguish external noise from what is quietly true feels increasingly essential now.
Thank you for subscribing and for reading with such depth.
Federico, thank you for sharing. I agree with you completely on this. I have felt it happen to me over the years as technology and information increased rapidly within the past 2 decades (I got my first smartphone at 13 and had no supervision — I've had computer access since probably 3 years old). Now I see my loved ones getting wrapped up in it. My love language is quality time, and it feels like quality time no longer exists. I'd rather be physically alone than around people that ignore me. I'm seeing the consequences of split attention all around me and experiencing it firsthand. I've got my own doomscrolling habits I'm working on too. It's scary. Sometimes it feels like I'm not strong enough to fight what's shaping all of us.
Thank you for sharing this. What you describe is deeply real.
When attention splits, presence thins, and quality time can start to disappear even when people are physically together. That loss is subtle, but deeply felt.
And the fact that you can see it in yourself as well is not weakness. It means something in you is still able to recognize what matters.
Maybe the work is not to overcome it all at once, but to keep returning — quietly, and without self-contempt.
Thank you. I think it’s a skill that needs to be built. Like you keep trying and practicing even when you fail. It’s pretty sad when I catch myself half-listening to people, even when my phone is on silent and put away. Same thing when I’m working. My mind drifts. I don’t want to be this person.
Yes — and I think that’s why small practices matter. Not as a way of becoming perfect, but as a way of training the return.
Sometimes even a brief pause, a few conscious breaths, or simply noticing “I’ve drifted” without judgment begins to restore something. The mind may keep wandering, but the returning is already part of the practice.
What you’re describing feels less like personal failure to me than a habit of fragmentation many of us have been shaped into.
I believe that it’s not just me. I’ve seen it happen to so many people over the years because I watched it happen. So I try not to beat myself up, and instead see it as something that I need to be mindful of and prioritize in my decision making.
Absolutely. Our habits and the thoughts we let control us dictate who we are. Practicing mindfulness and being aware that we are not our thoughts is important. We can work around initial, reactive thoughts and become the person we want to be. We can create a life that pleases us rather than one that keeps us busy and distracted.
this is really well put, but i think what makes it difficult is that the things that “diminish us” often also give us something in return. Distraction, comfort, a sense of control..
So it’s not just about refusing them, it’s about being honest about why we keep choosing them in the first place
The idea that 'the self is not lost in a single blow, but thinned by accumulation' is one of the most profound things I've read on this platform. It perfectly captures why protecting our inner atmosphere is an act of survival, not just a luxury.
I’ve spent my life learning to distinguish between external noise and what is quietly true, especially when the stakes were at their highest. Your writing is a vital shield against the 'contagion' of modern life. I’ve just subbed to your journey and am looking forward to more of this depth.
Thank you — that means a great deal.
I’m especially glad that line resonated. So much of what matters inwardly is not destroyed dramatically, but worn thin quietly, which is part of why it can go unnoticed for so long.
And yes — learning to distinguish external noise from what is quietly true feels increasingly essential now.
Thank you for subscribing and for reading with such depth.
https://polarfunk84.substack.com/p/fractured-memories?r=21zloo&utm_medium=ios&shareImageVariant=overlay
Federico, thank you for sharing. I agree with you completely on this. I have felt it happen to me over the years as technology and information increased rapidly within the past 2 decades (I got my first smartphone at 13 and had no supervision — I've had computer access since probably 3 years old). Now I see my loved ones getting wrapped up in it. My love language is quality time, and it feels like quality time no longer exists. I'd rather be physically alone than around people that ignore me. I'm seeing the consequences of split attention all around me and experiencing it firsthand. I've got my own doomscrolling habits I'm working on too. It's scary. Sometimes it feels like I'm not strong enough to fight what's shaping all of us.
Thank you for sharing this. What you describe is deeply real.
When attention splits, presence thins, and quality time can start to disappear even when people are physically together. That loss is subtle, but deeply felt.
And the fact that you can see it in yourself as well is not weakness. It means something in you is still able to recognize what matters.
Maybe the work is not to overcome it all at once, but to keep returning — quietly, and without self-contempt.
I’m glad you wrote this.
Thank you. I think it’s a skill that needs to be built. Like you keep trying and practicing even when you fail. It’s pretty sad when I catch myself half-listening to people, even when my phone is on silent and put away. Same thing when I’m working. My mind drifts. I don’t want to be this person.
Yes — and I think that’s why small practices matter. Not as a way of becoming perfect, but as a way of training the return.
Sometimes even a brief pause, a few conscious breaths, or simply noticing “I’ve drifted” without judgment begins to restore something. The mind may keep wandering, but the returning is already part of the practice.
What you’re describing feels less like personal failure to me than a habit of fragmentation many of us have been shaped into.
I believe that it’s not just me. I’ve seen it happen to so many people over the years because I watched it happen. So I try not to beat myself up, and instead see it as something that I need to be mindful of and prioritize in my decision making.
Absolutely. Our habits and the thoughts we let control us dictate who we are. Practicing mindfulness and being aware that we are not our thoughts is important. We can work around initial, reactive thoughts and become the person we want to be. We can create a life that pleases us rather than one that keeps us busy and distracted.
Thanks for your feedback Gabrielle!
Of course, anytime!
this is really well put, but i think what makes it difficult is that the things that “diminish us” often also give us something in return. Distraction, comfort, a sense of control..
So it’s not just about refusing them, it’s about being honest about why we keep choosing them in the first place